In today’s society, one of the most horrifying endeavors is to “get laid”. Many guys treat this experience as a stepping stone to becoming a man; you are smooth with the girls and am popular enough to sleep with one. Girls see this as an estimate of their value: the better the guy, the more they’re worth.
What has corrupted the minds of young men and women today? Even within the church teens are sleeping with one another, a terribly immoral and ungodly act. If you were a virgin, you were seen as either “unable to get a girl or guy” (incompetent), or too much of a wimp to get it on with someone. It’s better to lose it and prove yourself capable of getting a guy or girl.
I, however, am proposing a different perspective — one that several of my friends and I have applied:
Virginity is one of the most beautiful gifts from God. As long as we are single, we are more free to serve the Lord and do His work. We are set apart for a special ministry that many couples cannot commit to. Without romantic interests or relationships, we are free to use our mind and time for other things that last. I’m not saying relationships (in general) are wrong, but they do take up time and thought. How else do you keep the relationship going?
Staying a virgin is the best gift you can gift to your spouse. Contrary to popular belief, your virginity make you worth a whole lot more than losing it. Choosing to be a virgin describes your value in the eyes of God, a vessel set apart for greater works. It shows your affection for your spouse, your commitment to them even before you met them. How wonderful would it be to stand before the altar on your wedding day, declaring your sanctity to him/her, your virginity that is your most attractive ornament!
A great resource I’ve found on the topic is Your Single Treasure, a book by Rick Stedman. The “story of the $600 table” described to me the value of virginity. As Rick says: “Once we give ourselves away cheaply, we will not experience the treatment that is equal to what we are worth.” (p. 30) What he means is that if you give yourself away now for a one night stand, for a relationship that isn’t going to last, you will not be able to reap the full benefits of a committed relationship. You want to be treated according to how much you’re worth, so don’t settle for anything less than God’s best for you.
Your virginity is very fragile. It only takes one sexual encounter to remove your technical virginity. You are worth more than anything to the Lord, and you should do what you can to refrain from anything that will corrupt the testimony of the God. You can start by dedicating your sex life and virginity to Him, and refraining from anything that will harm the best blessing He has given you. It’s not the people you sleep with – nor the number of them – that determines your value, but the blood of Christ. Why measure your value by how people treat you when you are loved by the Creator of them all?
If, however, you have lost your technical virginity, know that God is still there with His arms wide open. No sin is too great for Him to forgive us, and immoral sin is no different. Know that your identity is in Christ, and nothing else. Just because you lost your virginity doesn’t mean you’re worthless. Remember: your value is the blood of Christ. If you’ve claimed salvation, your value is restored, as well as when you ask for forgiveness. Maintaining your virginity is only one aspect in serving the Lord. God can still use you to do great things, regardless of your past. Ask Him for forgiveness, claim the blood of Christ to cleanse you from the inside out, and move on. You can’t change the past, but you can make a difference in the future.